How to control a 3 year old?

Okay this is my first time posting here so be gentle. Spencer turned 3 years old back in July - and it wasn't until VERY recently that things have just gone chaotic. He has learned the word no and frequents it MANY of times!!! We've tried to correct it calmly then it moved on to "Time out" Then it moved on to "taking toys or fun stuff" away. Now its resulting to . And that isn't even fixing it. What do I try? These are simply questions "Spencer pick up your toys, Spencer get in your seat, Spencer can you please take this upstairs" The answer is NO!!!!! I understand the Terrible 2's but seriously Terrible 3's are twice as worse :(