Teenage Depression Issues?

Im 12. i would like to strait my life out. like twice a week i cry for no reason. i really want to stop this. its very annoying. Also when i get mad i go to the bathroom and cut my arm with a blade. I have heavy thoughts of suicide. My parents Are very annoying. They Tell mii to do something 1 second and the nxt second its something else. I think my depression is causing mii to eat alot. i weigh 111 lb. Every time i try to do something good to mi self like trying to higher mi self esteem some one always come around and ruin it. My parents dont listen to mii thats why i am telling you wonderful people. I cant keep a diary because mi knowzie parents will go through mi drawer. They Are annoying and it makes mii wanna scream and explode. i need help. mi mom signed mii up for a therapist but her lazy *** only took mii there for 1 day. i hate making friends because some jealous person ruins it. oh yea. incase u need to know, my mom had mii when she was 12 yrs old. i never met my father. The only thing that gets my mind off of depression is playing my Sims 3. ineed help. and getting a the therepest or psychiatrist is out of the question. thank u very much.